Hope4Cancer: Day Ten: Hugging Porcupines
Hope4Cancer is definitely a faith-filled spirit place that believes spiritual healing is as important as any physical treatment, and I had the privilege of working with Dr. Lesslie. She was brilliant. She had a way of looking into your eyes and seeing into your heart.
She also used regression therapy to see when I was in the womb. She talked about my grandparents and great-grandparents and what knowledge and understanding I had of past wounds and trauma throughout my lineage. Even the deaths of my family members in-utero were honored.
She showed me how trauma gets stuck in your brain and that my current troubles were “the same trauma, different day.” She took my heartaches, my mom’s heartache, my grandmother’s heartache, and the trauma that I had gone through with men and my children and made sense of them. She also pointed out the difference between my belief system and some of the men that I loved. They would have never become sick because of their belief system, but because I was wired to love, every time I had a broken heart, it left trauma on my brain. And what’s even more interesting is my cancer manifested in my right breast, and in studies over the years, the right breast is manifested masculine trauma.
In the next third of my life, part of my job is to create a healing place for my heart and be aware of when I’m not in a safe place. And Dr. Leslie gave me a lifeline to healing the past 60 years of all my brokenheartedness and scars—not just on my heart, but on my brain.
I need to be more aware of joy, trust, peace, faith, staying connected, and focusing on forgiveness and unconditional love. If love is not prevailing, I need to make sure I choose the right people in my life. We can love many people from a distance, but we need to be in alignment with those in our inner circle.
Dr. Leslie brought up one of my favorite sayings in all my nearly 61 years: you can’t be hugging porcupines and expect them it feel good.
The second analogy was that if you hang out with monkeys and they sling poop on you or pee on you, you can’t blame them because they’re monkeys. That’s what monkeys do. So you have to decide what monkeys you want to hang out with.
For many years, I prayed without action. And instead of experiencing healing, I was creating more disease and disruption within my body. Dr. Leslie was definitely an amazing connector. I would say that she was able to take my whole lifeline and show me where I repeated the injury and pain. And now I’m in a cycle of six years of healing, and then it looks like I could be good to go and be anything I want to be.
I felt complete with her; she will be a soul sister forever.
